Can We Stop Trying to Fix Women?
How about men stop playing golf instead?
As soon as I saw the headline I knew I was going to be mad. But I went ahead and made myself read the story because maybe I was jumping to conclusions.
Nope. I was right to be mad.
Anyway, here’s the headline: “Why More Female Executives Don’t Play Golf—and Why That’s a Problem.”
Sometimes when I see a headline like this I feel the need to check the calendar to be sure I didn’t inadvertently walk through a Timedoor and come out into the 1980s or 90s.
Haven’t we advanced beyond the idea that the problem with women is, well, women? If only they were more authoritative. Well, but not bitchy. They should seek out mentors. But not be political. They should talk more about their accomplishments. But not brag. They should definitely stop doing tasks that won’t get them promoted. But be a team player!
And, according to this study, amplified by the WSJ, they should also play golf. Whether they like it or not.
I’d actually like to hang on that point for a moment if we could. What if I’m just not interested in golf? Maybe male executives should take up yoga or something to spend more time with the women at their company.
But of course the fact of the matter is that it’s not just lack of interest that keeps women off the links. First, there’s just flat-out discrimination. Historically women were relegated to “ladies’ tee times” to keep them from “slowing down the course.” And, let’s not forget that many courses barred women from being members – some of the most exclusive were still barring women members as late as 2019.
But there’s a much bigger barrier than blatant discrimination that most women face when it comes to taking up golf. It’s caregiving.
The researcher interviewed in the WSJ acknowledges this with the understatement of the year: “Women often have unequal access to leisure time.”
Indeed. As Anne Helen Petersen lays out in the amazing essay Who Gets “Quality” Leisure?, women get far less leisure time than men. And the leisure they do get is of lower quality – more likely to also involve children or other domestic labor, more likely to be disrupted and more likely to be arranged in order to accommodate the needs of others. As Peterson notes, a typical round of golf takes four to five hours, not counting the time to get there, get back, have a drink after the game and so on. And that is all time outside the house, away from any children you might have. To be good at golf – good enough to keep up with a golf-loving boss, say – requires you to play regularly. The research consistently shows that women – especially women with children, which means the vast majority of women – are not able to take that much time out of the house for a hobby.
(As a funny side note, Ben Affleck made a comment about how much time golf takes in the Hollywood Reporter where he said, “I don’t golf myself. Because I just feel like it eats people’s lives up. I look at golf like meth. They have better teeth, but it doesn’t seem like people ever come out of that. Once they start golfing, you just don’t ever see them again.”)
What’s interesting to contemplate is that given that women already get less leisure time than their male partners and the time they do get is often of lesser-quality to accommodate the needs of male partners and children, we are now saying they need to spend the time they do have on golf to accommodate the needs and preferences of the men they work with. (And several comments on Petersen’s post indicate that women resent this requirement to play golf to “get ahead.”)
The most insidious part of this kind of advice is just how benign it seems. What’s the big deal? We are just suggesting taking part in a fun activity that lots of people (read: men) love! And it could advance your career! What’s the harm in just making a suggestion?
Well, actually, the WSJ piece lays out the opportunity cost of not playing golf. As the researcher notes, “By not golfing, women not only miss out on the experience but also conversations about the experience. They also miss out on the chance to be more visible within their organization, converse with decision makers and put themselves in a better position for promotions.”
In short, they miss out on the opportunity to be seen as “one of us.” That doesn’t sound like a harmless suggestion to me. That sounds more like “play golf or get left behind.”
But it gets even worse than that. It turns out that it’s not just that women who don’t play golf hurt their own careers. In fact, men who play golf are more likely to hurt the careers of women.
That’s right. A study of more than 4,000 CEOs found that companies where the male senior executives play a lot of golf are also companies that have a lot of gender discrimination. Go figure.
In fact, the study found that women are both less likely to be found in the senior ranks of companies where the CEO plays golf and the women who were there had a larger pay gap compared to those at companies with a CEO who didn’t golf.
Maybe the WSJ could cover that study with a headline like “ Why Too Many Male Executives Play Golf—and Why That’s a Problem.”
This is the kind of nonsense that really drives me up a wall. And in some ways I feel insane complaining about a silly article about, of all things, golf. But it’s not just about golf is it? Articles like this – and honestly, the research it covers – perpetuate the idea that women, people of color and other marginalized people can easily become business leaders by just being more like white men.
First of all, we know that strategy doesn’t actually work for most people. But honestly, even if it “worked” – in the sense that the people who don’t mind playing golf even if they don’t like it would get into leadership – it’s still bad. It still puts the responsibility on those without power to conform to rules made by those who already have power, in order to get power. Which ensures, ultimately, that very little changes. These kinds of strategies will never work at changing the system
Which is, of course, the point of these studies and the articles that tout them. The goals is preserve the status quo.
Those already in charge are most comfortable when the advice for getting ahead is to learn how to play their game. In this case, literally.